Archive for January, 2009

Love is a good thing…Right?

Posted in Uncategorized on January 27, 2009 by couryellen

Love is just such a complicated thing for the human race to comprend. But particularly, me. I have had had the least amount of expeience with this then anyone else. I’m more of the person who sits on the side lines and watches everyone else experience this kinda stuff. But the moment a friend starts bawling their eyes out because they got dumped or are so happy that they finally got their first kiss, I automatically get turned into Dr. Phil. I’m not complaining or anything, but it’s somewhat frustrating to have to be around something that it looks like you’ll never get. Or atleast it feels like it. Sure, I’ve had a few crushes on some of the guys, but that lasts, like, two seconds. Because I get my head back into reality where all guys are attracted to me for friendship, not for looks or girlfriend potential. No, i’m just that short little tomboy who tells her best friends how to ask out a girl. But’s never to ask me. But the girls are just as bad. They’re constantley asking me that i “pretty please with a cherry on top” ask out one of my guy buds for them. Or worse, betray them and spill those deep dark secrets about who they like. Of course, I always say no. It’s really not my place. I learned that after one of the guys asked me if so-and-so liked them. Stupid me, i told him. And the girl was a friend of mine! If they had hooked up, I would’ve felt fine, but he didnt do anything. Things just got awkward for them. But I’ve had a guy-problem myself though…..but only one. Mainly because I learned my lesson, you dont try to ask out your best guy friend without absolutley knowing he likes you. And asking him during school is the worst possible time to do it. You might as well have a 500-way call on the phone so that everyone knows, cause they all find out with out 5 minutes anyway. If you insist, I’ll tell you. But if you dont want to read this, just jump down to the part where i’m not talking about it, kay?! Alright, grap your popcorn and get comfy (sp?)… So. I’m in eighth grade. A stupid little tomboy who’s a rebel and thinks se knows everything. One day I decide that today was the day to ask out one of my soccer friends (who was a boy, by the way) . It was during lunch when I saw him getting a Reese’s (yes, I do rememeber. You normally rememeber something if you’ve only done it once, something when you’re sober, that is. Or atleast I do…) outta vending machine. He asked me for a dollar, so I gave it to him. I looked left, right,left, right, and left again to make sure no one was coming. I asked him, and I quote, “Hey, you wanna go out sometime?” And boom. His whole body was frozen. Lips pressed together real tight. Eyes not blinking and looked glazed over. I thought he had gone into shock. I held my breath, hoping and praying to God that that this was a good thing. I turned around and one of the guys was standing right behind us. He had heard everything I said! He started blushing and ran into the screen doors then towards the lobby. I turned back towards him. He was still frozen, like, he hadnt even moved a muscle. He told me that his parents wouldnt let him date (which was a complete lie). Then he started walking off, but I walked behind him and said that it was “fine”. That I “understood”. We both walked toward the lobby, but he turned into the guys bathroom so that he wouldnt have to be seen with me. And I dont blame the guy. I walked over to a group of my friends who were still eating their lunch, but were talking really low so that no one else could hear. Then they saw me and just…stared. Then everyone else looked at me and just…stared! Then they stated to whisper. The color drained from my body. That idotic kid had told the whole. friggin. school. And in less than 5 minutes. Great. Yup, i was the the center of attention for the next two weeks. And everyone made fun of me. And I haven’t done anything revolving around “telling your best friend that you love him” or “crushing on your best guy friend.” Actually…that last one was a lie. Guess every guy there is to like is a friend of mine. Cause they’re all my friends. And that’s probably the reason why i’ve never dated anyone or have gotten my first kiss or anything like that. But good things come to those who wait…right? I sure hope so.

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Oh Why?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 19, 2009 by couryellen

 

Oh Why?

 

Why be so closed hearted?

All the possibilities.

Keep my mind wide open,

So that you may see.

I’ll tell you what happend,

How it made me cry.

Sitting all alone,

While others passed me by.

Day after day,

Being by myself,

Just wondering why.

Oh why?

 

Gotta get back out there,

Live my life.

Try to laugh and smile,

Eventhough it’s all a lie.

My heart broken,

ripped in two.

Becuase when he

Shut the door

And walked away.

He took a part of me

That day.

 

So why cant I forget

About some stupid guy.

Who stole my heart.

Ripped it apart.

Gave me no chance

What can I do?

I’m lost

Never to be found.

Hidden in the darkness,

Cruelness all around.

 

Guess my life’s not a fairytale.

I try my best

Even though I fail.

Stumble and fall across the road,

You pick me up

And show me love.

Change my life,

Turn it all around.

Hearing your voice

And seeing you smile

Keeps me going on.

For the first time here me say (3x’s)

I love you.

Oh Why?

 

Why be so closed hearted?

All the possibilities.

Keep my mind wide open,

So that you may see.

I’ll tell you what happend,

How it made me cry.

Sitting all alone,

While others passed me by.

Day after day,

Being by myself,

Just wondering why.

Oh why?

 

Gotta get back out there,

Live my life.

Try to laugh and smile,

Eventhough it’s all a lie.

My heart broken,

ripped in two.

Becuase when he

Shut the door

And walked away.

He took a part of me

That day.

 

So why cant I forget

About some stupid guy.

Who stole my heart.

Ripped it apart.

Gave me no chance

What can I do?

I’m lost

Never to be found.

Hidden in the darkness,

Cruelness all around.

 

Guess my life’s not a fairytale.

I try my best

Even though I fail.

Stumble and fall across the road,

You pick me up

And show me love.

Change my life,

Turn it all around.

Hearing your voice

And seeing you smile

Keeps me going on.

For the first time here me say (3x’s)

I love you.

 

lonely_girl_by_luhmorin

I wrote this myself.

Don’t steal it!